It is the last day of March. What a crazy month. I can ramble off lists of things I did and activities I did with the kids but it really just seems like a blur in my mind. It happens so fast. It will be April tomorrow (April Fools Day at that) and I will be one month closer to being the mother of a teenager. Amazing how time just keeps going.
Not only did I blog less in March but I was on the computer less. I spent more time participating in something parent-like, playing dice with Bailey (we shake the dice and keep score. She thinks it is an amazing game), watching a kid movie or two, and just trying not to stress so much. It works. If Mama's happy so is everybody else, well within reason. Bash would probably be happier if he had a laptop and Bailey wants something different all the time but those are just items which will temporarily make them happy not provide bliss.
I've learned that reacting is the worst type of parenting I can offer my children. I do not need to argue with them. I am the parent. I say my piece and then walk away. This is amazingly effective. Also, nurturing will get me far. So many times a gentle voice is needed and a hug. I am trying and conscious and applying myself to be a better parent and I hope that it works. I know my kids are good. I know they are a handful and I know by many standards they are spoiled but they will always and forever be mine to love and I am thankful.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
March - Parenting a.k.a. The care and feeding of lifeforms that possess all your best and not so best qualities
So, it is March, the Parenting month [yikes]
I feel inadequate to write anything on parenting but since I am merely charting my progress it is okay. I definitely am in no position of authority to shell out advice. The main thing I want out of this resolution is a reality check. A reality check in the sense that I am maximizing my parenting, participating as genuinely and constantly and with joy and conviction. I want to methodically approach parenting.
In January, I learned that my attitude needed some TLC and I am a work in progress. The best thing I've learned from my resolutions thus far is that I am in control. It is easier to say what I want and will tolerate (not scream it, not yell it, not sarcastically remark it) and then and only then walk away. Stand firm in my views and hold my children accountable. Do we squabble? Do I raise my voice? Do we annoy one another in our cozy 700 square feet that we share? Do I want breaks? Do they want breaks? Do we love one another? Are we kind to one another? Do we help one another????? Of course we do. We do all these things and more. We are human and constantly progressing and becoming comfortable and confident with the individuals that we are. The greatest gift I can give my children is love. However, there is an equally pertinent gift for survival in the world and that is responsibility. I feel that people must be responsible. Be aware of your actions. Be aware of your presence on this planet. Be aware of your role. Be aware of your surroundings. Be coherent. Be attentive. The world does not revolve around you. For everything you receive from this world you need to pay it back. So many people of my generation feel and believe (I use the term loosely but I must include it because it is what I think) that they are owed something, if not everything. Who is your mama that somebody owes you something? Huh? What makes you so special? Is it because we were raised being told we were special and the world is ours for the taking? Okay, well you are special and that means you should do twice as much work to make an impact because since you are special you can handle more. How's that sound? I want my kids operate this way. I want them to know that they are special, largely in part because they are mine [wink, wink, I am a mama], but more because they are American born kids, born into a life of privilege completely by chance, because they are provided with education aligned with diversity and culture as well as performing arts, and because they are indeed responsible for the world. You may be thinking I should come down off my soapbox and get a hold of myself but I am serious.
I want to successfully bestow in my kids a sense of responsibility that they actively participate in the world by educating themselves, communicating effectively and working diligently with each other, family, friends, teachers, bosses, neighbors, and effectively anyone they meet. I feel like I am on the right track. And with my focus this month on parenting I will have a greater grasp of my accomplishment in a few weeks.
I feel inadequate to write anything on parenting but since I am merely charting my progress it is okay. I definitely am in no position of authority to shell out advice. The main thing I want out of this resolution is a reality check. A reality check in the sense that I am maximizing my parenting, participating as genuinely and constantly and with joy and conviction. I want to methodically approach parenting.
In January, I learned that my attitude needed some TLC and I am a work in progress. The best thing I've learned from my resolutions thus far is that I am in control. It is easier to say what I want and will tolerate (not scream it, not yell it, not sarcastically remark it) and then and only then walk away. Stand firm in my views and hold my children accountable. Do we squabble? Do I raise my voice? Do we annoy one another in our cozy 700 square feet that we share? Do I want breaks? Do they want breaks? Do we love one another? Are we kind to one another? Do we help one another????? Of course we do. We do all these things and more. We are human and constantly progressing and becoming comfortable and confident with the individuals that we are. The greatest gift I can give my children is love. However, there is an equally pertinent gift for survival in the world and that is responsibility. I feel that people must be responsible. Be aware of your actions. Be aware of your presence on this planet. Be aware of your role. Be aware of your surroundings. Be coherent. Be attentive. The world does not revolve around you. For everything you receive from this world you need to pay it back. So many people of my generation feel and believe (I use the term loosely but I must include it because it is what I think) that they are owed something, if not everything. Who is your mama that somebody owes you something? Huh? What makes you so special? Is it because we were raised being told we were special and the world is ours for the taking? Okay, well you are special and that means you should do twice as much work to make an impact because since you are special you can handle more. How's that sound? I want my kids operate this way. I want them to know that they are special, largely in part because they are mine [wink, wink, I am a mama], but more because they are American born kids, born into a life of privilege completely by chance, because they are provided with education aligned with diversity and culture as well as performing arts, and because they are indeed responsible for the world. You may be thinking I should come down off my soapbox and get a hold of myself but I am serious.
I want to successfully bestow in my kids a sense of responsibility that they actively participate in the world by educating themselves, communicating effectively and working diligently with each other, family, friends, teachers, bosses, neighbors, and effectively anyone they meet. I feel like I am on the right track. And with my focus this month on parenting I will have a greater grasp of my accomplishment in a few weeks.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)