I must admit that my attitude stinks lately. I mean if you've seen me, talked with me or emailed me, I was most likely somewhat civil and at the least attempting to maintain a cheery disposition, but I really don't feel like all this positive attitude stuff I am doing is lasting. I am taking alternate measures. I am utilizing resources as well as the tried and true notion of "do unto others as you'd have done to you." So, I am projecting a positive and happy mood to the utmost of my ability and I feel like I am crashing into a rock at times.
This past week I booked an appointment at Bumble Lane and enjoyed two hours of bliss. I truly was in a better mood and my attitude reflected such. Frankly, I was so relaxed that very little bothered me, if anything. Also moving with my attitude focus and improving the way I feel I continued exercising and was active a few days this week. I know that from past experience and recent confirmation of this past week that I truly feel better once I get active. And for the record, when I exercise it is usually walking. :) Getting out in nature and taking an hour to reflect on anything I want and attempt to free myself from stress at the moment is very relaxing and rewarding. The reward comes immediately and lasts throughout the day. I tend to also sleep better on days I exercise and eat right, go figure.
For the past 22 days my attitude among so many other things in my life have been analyzed by me and not with the greatest joy. It is hard to see our own faults. I am amazed at how easily I can see what I dislike in others yet, I am quick to defend the same qualities or characteristics in myself. Self-acceptance, self-discipline and self-awareness are extremely hard for me. I learned just how stubborn I can be at times. However, I am grateful. Grateful that even through the difficulty of this exercise, I am able to see hope. I can see a day where I am the joyful person I want to be. I can see a day that those around me are smiling. I can see a day when it is second nature to put on some sneakers and walk outside. I can see this because it is reality.
This morning proved a test of my attitude. The Saints are playing in the Super Bowl! Many Louisianians would say that is all you need to have a good attitude, be happy for life because Black and Gold are in the Super Bowl. But, my happiness does not rest on the fate of a football team. And that is a good thing. But the Championship game last night was intense all the way to Sudden Death Overtime. And in the end the boys did it. The Saints won the game! And I was so happy. Truly happy.
I thought of my Step-dad many times through this season. He was the biggest Saints fan I will ever know. He loved everything about the Saints and was proud even when they were less than mediocre. Thinking of him and the Saints reminded me of a particular game day party we had growing up and how fun that one had been with all my parents friends. My Step-dad passed away several years ago and will not see this game but just knowing they made it and how much he cared for them made me happy. With all the hype and heavy food and nice company of last night's game watching party I woke exhausted when the alarm buzzed. I did not feel like rushing so I went ask Bash if he had something due first period. When he said no I told him we can all sleep and extra hour then go to school. It was so great. An hour later we all woke up happy and refreshed as can be expected. Before I would have woken up and grumpily rushed everyone. But why? Life is too short to rush. And my attitude is better when I am at my own pace.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Jan - A Mid-week Revelation
Ok, I realize that perhaps other people have a moment that ticks in their head and all of a sudden you are like "uh huh!" And seriously, I mean this with enthusiasm. Well, today this revelation is minor but packs a giant punch.
...such a great moment in one's life is the moment that you realize you are small and the world is big. And to translate to one's life further, it is a magnitude of small daily and almost religiously performed tasks that makes one's life grand. It is the moment that took a second that truly takes your breath away.
I will strive to remember small things. Small minuscule details that are the thread in the fabric of life. Remembering that a friend enjoys two lemons in her tea, my grandmothers' birthdays, sending a thank you note, pausing to let someone cross the street, stooping to pickup something that was dropped in a rush, stop rushing, smile, not frown, pick up the check, say hello and wish for a happy day.
Contributing to the happiness of others is an instant mood booster. It is truly through being of service and an advocate for others that we can find our greatest moments of joy.
...such a great moment in one's life is the moment that you realize you are small and the world is big. And to translate to one's life further, it is a magnitude of small daily and almost religiously performed tasks that makes one's life grand. It is the moment that took a second that truly takes your breath away.
I will strive to remember small things. Small minuscule details that are the thread in the fabric of life. Remembering that a friend enjoys two lemons in her tea, my grandmothers' birthdays, sending a thank you note, pausing to let someone cross the street, stooping to pickup something that was dropped in a rush, stop rushing, smile, not frown, pick up the check, say hello and wish for a happy day.
Contributing to the happiness of others is an instant mood booster. It is truly through being of service and an advocate for others that we can find our greatest moments of joy.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Jan - My attitude is a work in progress...
Okay, so if I can laugh at myself that means life ain't too bad. At least laughing makes life more fun, even if you are laughing at yourself. I have innate ability to laugh at myself over all sorts of actions and things I say. It is an understatement to say, "I crack myself up." Because literally I do. I can be alone at home cleaning and for example turn the wrong way in a place I have lived for over a year and no walls have changed position and smack right into a door jamb as if it just appeared out of thin air. The best is when my son sees me do such a thing because he gets great joy and laughter out of it. I wonder if other people run into walls? I am declaring that if you have ran into a wall and you were completely sober, it means you were having a brilliant thought.
I would like to believe my loves in my life have noticed a happier more better 'attituded' Alina amongst them this past week. Even an Alina with a better attitude than the week before. I think there are moments when this is possibly the case but I certainly don't think I have moved earth with my attitude shift. Which makes me happy. Maybe sometimes all people need for a better attitude is will and possibly a 32 ounce Attitude Adjustment from Spanky's. I will skip the later part of that statement and stick with the personal attitude because honestly daiquiris give me headaches and usually hurt my stomach too.
So much can change in a person's attitude through the course of seven days. I like to think of our personal attitudes on an attitude wheel like a color wheel and with the thrust of a good spin we can be circling out of whack in no time. Being conscious of my attitude has not lessened my spins on the wheel but it has made me aware that I can spin again. And so can you. It is my life so if the situation and attitude combination I find myself in at the moment is less than desirable or at the very least if my attitude is not enhancing my quality of life I can change it. Yes, you read correctly. I can change it. I can make a new path. So this week, I started walking again. I love the LSU lakes and it is a great joy that they are practically in my backyard and on the way home from Bai's school in the mornings. So, when I can I am making time to stop for an hour walk. This time is beautiful to me. I just love the view and I am recharged through the exercise.
I made a dear friend last year and she returned to Louisiana just last week so we had a girl gab session to catch up and of course we are having another one this week because she can talk as much as me which is phenomenal. I admire her. I think she is charismatic and witty and in my honest opinion she has an incredible life. She is a world traveler and she is able to work and play exactly how she dreams. We have many common interests and can converse about anything from culture to language to photographs, you name it and we can have a conversation about it - except like naming political figures because neither of us has much zest for memorizing such facts. She is always upbeat when I see her. Even when her circumstance is less than comfortable she seems to be in a good mood which makes me in a good mood.
Since, I'd started the project while she was gone I explained to her what I was doing and she related to much of my resolutions and personal qualms and areas of focus. And once she connected with me on a few areas of focus (I refrain from using the word issues when speaking of myself, makes me feel broken) I was recharged to keep with my project objective. Her interest and support in the project meant more to me than I realized. In fact, when someone is interested it boosts me to another level. From the start of the project Douglas has offered continued support and the other day an email from my Aunt made my day and when someone tells me they read my blog I am happy. It is extremely uplifting to feel supported and it definitely boosts my attitude.
A friend made this reply when we were talking about happiness, "I don't have money and people assume I do because I travel to various places several times a year, but what they don't realize is I live modestly, I eat at home, I ride a bicycle, I am conservative when making luxury and frivolous purchases and I am happy with my choices because they contribute to the life I want." When she said this to me I thought, that is what I want. To be happy with the choices I make daily and to have my daily choices reflect my life.
I would like to believe my loves in my life have noticed a happier more better 'attituded' Alina amongst them this past week. Even an Alina with a better attitude than the week before. I think there are moments when this is possibly the case but I certainly don't think I have moved earth with my attitude shift. Which makes me happy. Maybe sometimes all people need for a better attitude is will and possibly a 32 ounce Attitude Adjustment from Spanky's. I will skip the later part of that statement and stick with the personal attitude because honestly daiquiris give me headaches and usually hurt my stomach too.
So much can change in a person's attitude through the course of seven days. I like to think of our personal attitudes on an attitude wheel like a color wheel and with the thrust of a good spin we can be circling out of whack in no time. Being conscious of my attitude has not lessened my spins on the wheel but it has made me aware that I can spin again. And so can you. It is my life so if the situation and attitude combination I find myself in at the moment is less than desirable or at the very least if my attitude is not enhancing my quality of life I can change it. Yes, you read correctly. I can change it. I can make a new path. So this week, I started walking again. I love the LSU lakes and it is a great joy that they are practically in my backyard and on the way home from Bai's school in the mornings. So, when I can I am making time to stop for an hour walk. This time is beautiful to me. I just love the view and I am recharged through the exercise.
I made a dear friend last year and she returned to Louisiana just last week so we had a girl gab session to catch up and of course we are having another one this week because she can talk as much as me which is phenomenal. I admire her. I think she is charismatic and witty and in my honest opinion she has an incredible life. She is a world traveler and she is able to work and play exactly how she dreams. We have many common interests and can converse about anything from culture to language to photographs, you name it and we can have a conversation about it - except like naming political figures because neither of us has much zest for memorizing such facts. She is always upbeat when I see her. Even when her circumstance is less than comfortable she seems to be in a good mood which makes me in a good mood.
Since, I'd started the project while she was gone I explained to her what I was doing and she related to much of my resolutions and personal qualms and areas of focus. And once she connected with me on a few areas of focus (I refrain from using the word issues when speaking of myself, makes me feel broken) I was recharged to keep with my project objective. Her interest and support in the project meant more to me than I realized. In fact, when someone is interested it boosts me to another level. From the start of the project Douglas has offered continued support and the other day an email from my Aunt made my day and when someone tells me they read my blog I am happy. It is extremely uplifting to feel supported and it definitely boosts my attitude.
A friend made this reply when we were talking about happiness, "I don't have money and people assume I do because I travel to various places several times a year, but what they don't realize is I live modestly, I eat at home, I ride a bicycle, I am conservative when making luxury and frivolous purchases and I am happy with my choices because they contribute to the life I want." When she said this to me I thought, that is what I want. To be happy with the choices I make daily and to have my daily choices reflect my life.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Jan - Attitude
Having a good attitude is much easier a statement to make than an action. I realize how many times I literally say to my children "you should have a good attitude" or "act happy" or "be nice" or "only say something nice". UGH! I annoy myself. Of course, I did not realize I was such a nag but so many times when I said such a phrase I myself was not "having a good attitude."
This past week, I remained constantly aware of my step for January. I say to myself each morning (and approximately 149 times per day) to keep a good attitude today and not let others actions reflect within my mood. Now, I must make clear that I am not a saint. So, you can imagine that there were moments and possibly even hours in the past week that I did not keep a good attitude. Some may say that I did not do well with my resolution for last week since I was unable to remain positive. But I disagree. I am grateful that I notice the difference. I also noticed a huge impact my positive attitude can have on those surrounding me. It is easy to nag and be mopey and just blah. BUT, it is not enjoyable. I do not want to be known as the miserable old lady. I want to be the perky, bubbly old lady who isn't afraid to be who she is and enjoy the world.
I also discovered in one short week that being positive makes difficult parenting more bearable. It does not remove one from the tough situation but it most certainly allows the glimmer of hope to shine. I also noticed that if I prolong my annoyance and negative comments the bad behavior or ill temper continues. However, at times when I made my point then relaxed it seemed like the instance subsided quicker.
And though this may not be directly related to my attitude, I discovered another astute point this week. When you decide to change something in your life or better certain avenues, unresolved issues resurface instantly and adversary comes from all manner of directions. This is why I am choosing attitude first in my project. Like Tucker Dupree declares "Anything is possible with the right attitude." I know that this is true. And so my project continues and I am starting a new week and constantly evaluating my attitude.
This past week, I remained constantly aware of my step for January. I say to myself each morning (and approximately 149 times per day) to keep a good attitude today and not let others actions reflect within my mood. Now, I must make clear that I am not a saint. So, you can imagine that there were moments and possibly even hours in the past week that I did not keep a good attitude. Some may say that I did not do well with my resolution for last week since I was unable to remain positive. But I disagree. I am grateful that I notice the difference. I also noticed a huge impact my positive attitude can have on those surrounding me. It is easy to nag and be mopey and just blah. BUT, it is not enjoyable. I do not want to be known as the miserable old lady. I want to be the perky, bubbly old lady who isn't afraid to be who she is and enjoy the world.
I also discovered in one short week that being positive makes difficult parenting more bearable. It does not remove one from the tough situation but it most certainly allows the glimmer of hope to shine. I also noticed that if I prolong my annoyance and negative comments the bad behavior or ill temper continues. However, at times when I made my point then relaxed it seemed like the instance subsided quicker.
And though this may not be directly related to my attitude, I discovered another astute point this week. When you decide to change something in your life or better certain avenues, unresolved issues resurface instantly and adversary comes from all manner of directions. This is why I am choosing attitude first in my project. Like Tucker Dupree declares "Anything is possible with the right attitude." I know that this is true. And so my project continues and I am starting a new week and constantly evaluating my attitude.
My Focus Areas
January --->Attitude
*Project a positive attitude outward and within myself
*Raise energy level
*Be happy in my own skin
February --->Strength and Relationship (and strengthen relationships)
*Make an effort with important connections that are frayed
*Focus on my health and strength (be able to run 1 mile and still breathe)
*Acts of love (so those I love see my actions and intentions of my heart)
March --->Parenting
*Listen
*Be calm
*Focus on positive
April --->Education
*Make a plan
*Study and be persistent
*Make a decision about graduate school
May --->Organization
*Clear out physical, emotional and mental clutter
*Create space
*Have one empty shelf
June --->Travel
*Embrace traveling and see Spain
*Travel with purpose - never forget that it is a journey and an observation
July --->Language
*Study either Spanish or Italian each day for at least fifteen minutes
*Incorporate language more in my daily life
August --->Money
*Make some
*Spend some
*Save some
*Establish a vacation goal with the kids and start a jar
*Evaluate my relationship with money and improve it
September-->Career Exploration
*Dig DEEP!
*Explore my options
*Try something new
*Be true to Alina
October --->Books
*Embrace new books (read something Science Fiction)
*Make a photo book from summer photos
*Seek other books by authors I enjoy
*Reread Jane Austen
November-->Give
*give of my time to the school to help with holiday activities
*give more love to the most important people in my life
*be kind in public and while driving
*keep a gratitude list each day write three things I am grateful for
December-->Appreciation
*Evaluate my happiness.
*Reflect upon my year and appreciate the experience of my project
*Appreciate the season and remember to show the appreciation that I feel
*Be happy being Alina and appreciate the gifts of each day
*Project a positive attitude outward and within myself
*Raise energy level
*Be happy in my own skin
February --->Strength and Relationship (and strengthen relationships)
*Make an effort with important connections that are frayed
*Focus on my health and strength (be able to run 1 mile and still breathe)
*Acts of love (so those I love see my actions and intentions of my heart)
March --->Parenting
*Listen
*Be calm
*Focus on positive
April --->Education
*Make a plan
*Study and be persistent
*Make a decision about graduate school
May --->Organization
*Clear out physical, emotional and mental clutter
*Create space
*Have one empty shelf
June --->Travel
*Embrace traveling and see Spain
*Travel with purpose - never forget that it is a journey and an observation
July --->Language
*Study either Spanish or Italian each day for at least fifteen minutes
*Incorporate language more in my daily life
August --->Money
*Make some
*Spend some
*Save some
*Establish a vacation goal with the kids and start a jar
*Evaluate my relationship with money and improve it
September-->Career Exploration
*Dig DEEP!
*Explore my options
*Try something new
*Be true to Alina
October --->Books
*Embrace new books (read something Science Fiction)
*Make a photo book from summer photos
*Seek other books by authors I enjoy
*Reread Jane Austen
November-->Give
*give of my time to the school to help with holiday activities
*give more love to the most important people in my life
*be kind in public and while driving
*keep a gratitude list each day write three things I am grateful for
December-->Appreciation
*Evaluate my happiness.
*Reflect upon my year and appreciate the experience of my project
*Appreciate the season and remember to show the appreciation that I feel
*Be happy being Alina and appreciate the gifts of each day
Friday, January 8, 2010
My Happiness Project 2010
Taking my cue from Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project I will be charting my progress through my resolutions on twelve areas I need either to enhance, create, adjust, dissolve or some combination of those actions to find the most happy me.
This is my semi one third life crisis as I like to look at it. One third of my life is almost over. It seems silly to think that I am having qualms about being thirty. But let me make it clear that it isn't my age or how I feel or my life experiences that is freakin' me out, it is that on average women live longer than men but still only into their eighties - granted women in my family are strong and tough and seem to live longer than the national average so I am counting on Grandma Shorty here to keep me flowing past 100- and so by thirty years of age we've consumed some good years.
This project is also taking into account the life I have. You know, the one I am living each day. Not some fictional life I have in my head that is void of past mistakes and choices or the life I am expecting to attain at some point in the future. No. This project is now! It focuses on my life as it is and the project is centered at finding greater happiness in my life.
My twelve areas will most likely and no doubt would differ from yours if you yourself would create such a project in your life. I like to think of it as a personalized twelve step plan. And trust me there are most certainly ways to fail at this project. I've run through several different lists at various moments but I owe it to myself to try and try and try. Because Rubin suggests and other authors as well, we are most happy when we are growing in the direction of our goal.
This is my semi one third life crisis as I like to look at it. One third of my life is almost over. It seems silly to think that I am having qualms about being thirty. But let me make it clear that it isn't my age or how I feel or my life experiences that is freakin' me out, it is that on average women live longer than men but still only into their eighties - granted women in my family are strong and tough and seem to live longer than the national average so I am counting on Grandma Shorty here to keep me flowing past 100- and so by thirty years of age we've consumed some good years.
This project is also taking into account the life I have. You know, the one I am living each day. Not some fictional life I have in my head that is void of past mistakes and choices or the life I am expecting to attain at some point in the future. No. This project is now! It focuses on my life as it is and the project is centered at finding greater happiness in my life.
My twelve areas will most likely and no doubt would differ from yours if you yourself would create such a project in your life. I like to think of it as a personalized twelve step plan. And trust me there are most certainly ways to fail at this project. I've run through several different lists at various moments but I owe it to myself to try and try and try. Because Rubin suggests and other authors as well, we are most happy when we are growing in the direction of our goal.
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