I must admit that my attitude stinks lately. I mean if you've seen me, talked with me or emailed me, I was most likely somewhat civil and at the least attempting to maintain a cheery disposition, but I really don't feel like all this positive attitude stuff I am doing is lasting. I am taking alternate measures. I am utilizing resources as well as the tried and true notion of "do unto others as you'd have done to you." So, I am projecting a positive and happy mood to the utmost of my ability and I feel like I am crashing into a rock at times.
This past week I booked an appointment at Bumble Lane and enjoyed two hours of bliss. I truly was in a better mood and my attitude reflected such. Frankly, I was so relaxed that very little bothered me, if anything. Also moving with my attitude focus and improving the way I feel I continued exercising and was active a few days this week. I know that from past experience and recent confirmation of this past week that I truly feel better once I get active. And for the record, when I exercise it is usually walking. :) Getting out in nature and taking an hour to reflect on anything I want and attempt to free myself from stress at the moment is very relaxing and rewarding. The reward comes immediately and lasts throughout the day. I tend to also sleep better on days I exercise and eat right, go figure.
For the past 22 days my attitude among so many other things in my life have been analyzed by me and not with the greatest joy. It is hard to see our own faults. I am amazed at how easily I can see what I dislike in others yet, I am quick to defend the same qualities or characteristics in myself. Self-acceptance, self-discipline and self-awareness are extremely hard for me. I learned just how stubborn I can be at times. However, I am grateful. Grateful that even through the difficulty of this exercise, I am able to see hope. I can see a day where I am the joyful person I want to be. I can see a day that those around me are smiling. I can see a day when it is second nature to put on some sneakers and walk outside. I can see this because it is reality.
This morning proved a test of my attitude. The Saints are playing in the Super Bowl! Many Louisianians would say that is all you need to have a good attitude, be happy for life because Black and Gold are in the Super Bowl. But, my happiness does not rest on the fate of a football team. And that is a good thing. But the Championship game last night was intense all the way to Sudden Death Overtime. And in the end the boys did it. The Saints won the game! And I was so happy. Truly happy.
I thought of my Step-dad many times through this season. He was the biggest Saints fan I will ever know. He loved everything about the Saints and was proud even when they were less than mediocre. Thinking of him and the Saints reminded me of a particular game day party we had growing up and how fun that one had been with all my parents friends. My Step-dad passed away several years ago and will not see this game but just knowing they made it and how much he cared for them made me happy. With all the hype and heavy food and nice company of last night's game watching party I woke exhausted when the alarm buzzed. I did not feel like rushing so I went ask Bash if he had something due first period. When he said no I told him we can all sleep and extra hour then go to school. It was so great. An hour later we all woke up happy and refreshed as can be expected. Before I would have woken up and grumpily rushed everyone. But why? Life is too short to rush. And my attitude is better when I am at my own pace.
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